Signs your child might need additional support
Every child develops differently, but some signs suggest your child might benefit from extra support. Here's what to look out for and when to act.
Trust your instincts
Parents are often the first to notice that something isn't quite right. You might not be able to put your finger on exactly what it is — just a feeling that your child is struggling more than their peers, or developing differently in ways that go beyond normal variation.
That instinct is worth listening to. You know your child better than anyone. If friends, family, or even professionals tell you "they'll grow out of it" or "boys are just slower" and it doesn't sit right with you, pursue it. Early identification and support can make a significant difference to outcomes.
Communication and language
Some things to watch for: not babbling by 12 months, no single words by 18 months, or not combining two words by age 2. Beyond these milestones, watch for difficulty following instructions, limited vocabulary compared to peers, struggling to express needs or feelings, avoiding eye contact during conversations, or difficulty with the social side of communication — things like taking turns in conversation or understanding jokes and sarcasm.
Speech and language difficulties are among the most common childhood needs, and speech and language therapy can make a real difference, especially when started early.
Learning and attention
Signs to look out for include: significant difficulty learning to read or write compared to classmates, struggling with numbers despite good teaching, difficulty remembering instructions, finding it very hard to concentrate or stay on task, losing belongings constantly, or seeming to "switch off" in class.
These can indicate specific learning difficulties (dyslexia, dyscalculia), attention difficulties (ADHD), or processing differences. An educational psychologist can assess these areas and recommend specific strategies.
Behaviour and emotions
Frequent meltdowns that seem disproportionate to the trigger, intense anxiety about everyday situations, difficulty managing emotions, extreme reactions to changes in routine, or persistent challenging behaviour at school can all be signs that a child needs additional support.
Behaviour is communication. A child who is frequently melting down is often a child whose needs aren't being met — whether that's a sensory need, a communication difficulty, or an emotional need they can't express in words.
Sensory and physical
Watch for extreme reactions to noise, light, textures, or smells. A child who covers their ears in assembly, gags on certain food textures, can't tolerate clothing labels, or seeks intense physical input (crashing into things, spinning constantly) may have sensory processing differences.
Physical signs include significant clumsiness, difficulty with fine motor tasks like handwriting or using scissors, poor balance, or difficulty learning to ride a bike. An occupational therapist can assess both sensory processing and motor skills.
What to do next
Start by talking to your child's teacher or SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator). Share your concerns and ask what they've observed. You can also speak to your GP or health visitor, who can refer to paediatrics or other services.
You don't have to wait for the school or GP to act. You can self-refer to many services (especially speech therapy), seek a private assessment, or contact your Local Authority's SENDIASS for advice. Keeping a diary of your observations — with specific examples and dates — is helpful when you do seek professional input.
Social interaction
Difficulty making or keeping friends, preferring to play alone, struggling to understand social rules, taking things very literally, finding group situations overwhelming, or intense focus on specific interests can be signs of autism or social communication difficulties.
Girls in particular are often missed because they can be better at "masking" — copying social behaviour from peers and hiding their difficulties. If your daughter seems to hold it together at school but falls apart at home, this is worth investigating.